Chapter 5

Not long after Zach was born, my mom recalled an experience she had about four months prior. Remembering she had wrote the story down in her journal, she went through her nightstand to retrieve it. The entry reads,

May 28,1989

Last Tuesday, Cody and A.J. were outside in front of the house playing. A neighbor boy walked over to them with a box of six, one day old wild baby birds. He had raided a nest, gave them to my boys, and then quickly left to his nearby home. When the boys brought them in I couldn’t believe it. I was so angry this boy had done what he did and furious that he gave them to the boys. They were cold and hungry and I think the reason I was so mad is I knew what I was in for. I was in for a lot of work and heartache. As hard as you may try to not get attached, I always do. I kept thinking with all that has happened, “Why would these birds end up here? Why couldn’t someone else take care of them? I don’t’ need my heart broken right now.”
People that I saw that next day kept saying, “Just don’t feed them and they will die,” or “Flush them down the toilet.” I couldn’t do either. It’s just totally against my nature to do that. As long as they were alive I had to try. The next five days I had to feed them hourly. They were so cute. Slowly one by one they died. The one that really made me sad was the last that had lived two and one half days all by his self. It almost seemed like there was hope that he would make it. His little body even began to get feathers. I cried and the thought of, “Why did he die?” was bouncing around in my head. Throughout this experience I thought that my Heavenly Father was trying to teach me something. You know that feeling during an experience that you just know there is more to it. I pondered and prayed, “Is it that if I tried hard it would pay off? Would something good come from my hard work?” I was hoping a bird would survive, but all I was left with was sorrow.
All night and most of the next day I was so puzzled by the experience because I felt in my heart I was being taught something but couldn’t seem to understand. Finally I went to my room to lie down and rest. The baby was kicking so much that I could not fall asleep. I started thinking when my thoughts came quickly to the little birds. Unexpectedly, it came to me that there was a lesson taught. Maybe not exactly what I thought it should be, but a good lesson. I was so mad when the boys brought those birds in because I didn’t want to experience the heartache. I could have just let them die but that’s running away, not facing the challenge. This is life. Our trials are not always easy and are most certainly filled with heartache. They don’t always have a happy ending but the things we learn and the joy we receive from trial and error is, to me, totally worth the heartache.

Zachery was born just four months after this experience. My mom says, “I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has tutored me all my life and lead me down life’s road. He has always tried to prepare me with life experience. I am so, so grateful.”